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Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do? This is most apparent in Judaism's approach to intimacy.
How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? The Torah obligates the husband to meet the intimate needs of his wife. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes this area.
This is the true definition of a "soul mate." A soul mate is a goal mate -- two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals. You choose the wrong person because you get intimately involved too quickly.
Intimacy before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions.
It is not necessary to take a "test drive" in order to find out if a couple is physically compatible.