Now that I no longer have an active account, women are emailing and “winking” at me, left and right. The decision to discontinue online dating was a thoughtful and deliberate one.
First, I considered my options and was leaning toward re-upping my membership for another three months. And decided to move forward with just Two Poles in the Pond.
This is the kind of rejection I could have done without every single night alone in my bed while another man stuck his penis in my wife.
I’ll meet someone the old-fashioned way when I’m good and ready! It’s a communist plot to get me to renew my membership. Match has a bunch of chicks they pay $4 an hour to write notes to and wink at all the guys who try to walk away. Most of the girls will be felons, or have a dozen children, or live in other states, or have clubfoot, or try to convert me to Satanism.
I get INUNDATED with emails from Match telling me every time someone sends me an email or a wink. Right now, I have a big pile of winks and messages from mystery women floating out there in Matchland. “Dear Matt, you have 26 unread emails in your inbox! ” And I’ll break down and give them some more money.
If and when you feel like it, please write back, let me know whether you’re still single and whether you’re still interested.
It made me sad to realize just how undateable I was online. I bet he doesn’t even have couches in his living room! This blog got its name because of the tendency of every woman on the planet to prefer men who are at least 6’0” tall.
Lets masturbate and then make fun of this guy some more! How much do you want to bet his wife left him for a tall, rich guy?