Ken's mastery of them had become an end in itself, and they were entirely divorced from human connection, beyond pure sex. La Bier," she said, "I read that women require an average of 14 minutes of sexual stimulation to reach orgasm.

The kind of sexual life you have -- and its conflicts -- are embedded in the overall relationship you learn and how you "practice" it with your partner.


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He entered therapy because he wanted to learn why he hadn't been able to form a lasting relationship.

One part of my overall theme in these posts -- about rethinking psychological health in today's tumultuous, interconnected world -- includes looking with a fresh eye at the kinds of intimate relationships people enter into, and the conflicts that result. "Marital Sex" is the kind of sex life that most committed couples tend to have -- married or not, straight or gay.

First, some clarification about what I mean by each term. And "Making Love" is a different kind of experience altogether, one that transcends both of the other two kinds., different levels of integration between your physical, animal being, your relational and your spiritual being.

Aside from Ken's deeper emotional issues that he'd never faced or dealt with, another barrier to his forming a relationship was that he had turned sex into a technique-dominated sport.

He saw himself as a great lover and, in fact, had become very proficient in Tantric sexual practices.