The only other place that has more combinations is . When this happens, the lyrics to the Janis Joplin song, take on a whole new meaning.) 10.The 50/50 statistic: Hey, the date could be one of the best nights of your life.
You like the thrill of the chase and you own a black American Express card (for those of you who don’t know what that is, it means you have a massive line of credit and you are probably filthy fucking rich). Dating Sites: Fuck, I have to fill out a five page questionnaire just to figure out if I am going to get laid or not. Health Security Protocol: I swear to you they are going to start installing those x-ray airport-security-machines at Olive Gardens, Apple Bees, and truck stops.
Hold on to your knickers because I am about to outline the ten reasons dating is like a weekend in Vegas with just you and your savings account. Profiling like a TSA agent: After you have been in the for a while, you stop dating and you start profiling. It hasn’t gotten to this point, but I imagine that during some insanely horny moment, this conversation might take place: “Do you have an STD and is it curable?
It’s like being a drug sniffing dog on the Mexican border. ” “Yes.” “Well, in that case, there will be a service charge.
I will just send you the clinic bill.” (Yes, it’s a whole new level of desperate. Children: I have mad respect for parents; especially single parents. Date number one consists of dinner, entertainment, and maybe some cocktails; maybe even several cocktails because you were so nervous you forgot your own name.
I’d die alone in my cabin in the woods, surrounded by my twelve cats and have them eat my rotting carcass before I ever crossed over into code-WTF-desperate.) Now that we cleared that up—pun intended—let’s move on. Biological Clock: From age 28 to now, mine has sounded like Big Ben. And dating while raising kids is like playing the worst game of Go Fish ever. Well, it was sort of free if you don’t think of a hand job as work. That fifth Cape Cod you drank was just to Now, you not only have the pleasure of nursing a hangover with massive amounts of Gatorade, you also get to use it to wash down your Plan B pill. Maybe some white hairs have started to show up and have made you quietly wonder, “Am I turning into a wizard?